Discover your emotional truth

Whatever it is that you would like to change about yourself, this page is designed to help you discover the hidden emotional truth that is keeping you stuck. Each person is unique, and so will be the key that will open their way to change.

Begin by getting a very clear sense of the change you want to make. Spend a few minutes writing down the specifics of what you want to change and how you will know when you have achieved this goal. This change must be about yourself or how you react to others rather than a change you would like someone else to make, because you cannot make another person change. You might have to ask yourself, “If the other person never changes, how will I need to be in order to be happy?” Don't move on until you have a very clear and specific change you want to make.

You might find that one or two of these exercises may not be a great fit for you, but it is important that you try each of them. You can read some of the case examples on this site to see how people are often very surprised by what they find when they let themselves do these exercises fully. You may discover some uncomfortable truths about yourself in doing these exercises. Try to be nice to yourself, and schedule a session if you want some help or support. If you become overwhelmed at any point, just stop and rest.

Some of these exercises ask you to complete a sentence. Please read the sentence-stem either aloud or silently and then let the sentence finish itself without trying to pre-think an ending. Feel free to change the sentence-stem in order to make it feel more true. Repeat the exercise over and over until you are not getting any new endings before going on to the next one.

1. Now imagine a situation that would be absolutely sure to trigger the problem. This will usually be a very uncomfortable thing to picture, but the more uncomfortable this feels, the better the exercise will go. Let yourself feel the discomfort and name what it feels like in your body. Also notice how you want to move and any words or images that come to you. Now in this scene, try saying, "I NEED to___________(name your problem here) because..." and let the sentence finish itself without pre-thinking an ending.
Keep doing this until you are getting no new endings.
When you are finished, write down some of the sentences that felt strongest.

2. Still in touch with your strong feelings, try saying, "If I never ___________(name your problem here) again..." and let the sentence finish itself without pre-thinking an ending. Keep doing this until you are getting no new endings.
When you are finished, write down some of the sentences that felt strongest.

3. Now imagine waking up in the morning and going through the day without any trace of the problem at all. Not only are you without the problem, but you know that it never return again. Pay careful attention to anything that feels unwelcome about this reality. Spend some time with this experience before moving on.
Write down what you learn.

4. Now return to the scene that triggers your problem. Stay there for a minute or so and name your feelings again. Get a clear sense of that feeling in your body and ask the feeling what its job is. Listen for its response.
Spend some time with this experience before moving on.
Write down what you learn.

By this point, many people will feel like they have found a part of themselves that they did not know existed. It is important not to turn this part of yourself into an enemy, but rather make it into a friend. You can do this by not trying to change it, but instead just accepting it and letting it be true. You should also spend some time each day reading over what you have learned about yourself. Many people will feel a strong need to have someone with whom to share this new truth. You can tell a trusted friend, a support group or schedule a session with a therapist.

If you would like to share your emotional truth with others, you can enter it into the form below. Offerings will be posted within 48 hours. If you would like to donate to PsychResources.net, click here.

This site is maintained by Tim Desmond, MFTI 51287 :: Supervised by Bruce Ecker, MFC 21355
copyright © 2007 Tim Desmond, MA. Last updated 31March2007.