Online Counseling Resources
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habits and addictions
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or life direction
difficulty expressing needs
or being authentic
a problem that doesn't fit
into a category above
Case Examples
nail biting (a basic example)
anxiety
depression caused by
low self-worth
cluttering
couples counseling - communication
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a son's anger
For Therapists
Habits and addictions
Habits and addictions including nail biting, chronic lateness, alcohol and other drugs, sugar, shopping and many others can be changed by discovering how they make sense on a deeper emotional level. This page is designed to help you discover the emotional truth of your habit or addiction that will open your way to change.
We will begin with some exercises that will ask you to complete a sentence. Please read the sentence-stem either aloud or silently and then let the sentence finish itself without trying to pre-think an ending. Feel free to change the sentence-stem in order to make it feel more true. Repeat the exercise over and over until you are not getting any new endings before going on to the next one. If you become overwhelmed at any point, just stop and rest. You may discover some uncomfortable truths about yourself in doing these exercises. Try to be nice to yourself, and schedule a session if you want some help or support.
1. Begin by feeling the urge to engage in your habit or addiction. You may imagine a place or time in which you would usually do it, in order to get in touch with the urge. Name what it feels like in your body. Now in this scene, say the sentence, "I NEED to ___________ (name your habit or addiction here) because..." and let the sentence finish itself without pre-thinking an ending.
Keep doing this until you are getting no new endings.
When you are finished, write down some of the sentences that felt strongest.
2. Still in touch with the urge, try completing the sentence, "If I never ___________ (name your habit or addiction here) again..."
Keep doing this until you are getting no new endings.
When you are finished, write down some of the sentences that felt strongest.
3. Now imagine waking up in the morning and going through the day without the urge to engage in your habit or addiction at all. Not only are you without the urge, but you know that you never engage in your habit or addiction again. Pay careful attention to anything that feels unwelcome about this reality. Spend some time with this experience before moving on. Write down what you learn.
4. Let yourself feel the urge to engage in your habit or addiction, and allow that urge to be strong. Now ask the urge what its job is and listen for its response.
Spend some time with this experience before moving on.
Write down what you learn.
By this point, many people will feel like they have found a part of themselves that they did not know existed. It is important not to turn this part of yourself into an enemy, but rather make it into a friend. You can do this by not trying to change it. Instead just accept it and let it be true. You should also spend some time each day reading over what you have learned about yourself. Many people will feel a strong need to have someone with whom to share this new truth. You can tell a trusted friend, a support group or schedule a session with a therapist.
If you would like to share your emotional truth with others, you can enter it into the form below. Offerings will be posted within 48 hours. If you would like to donate to PsychResources.net, click here.
This site is maintained by Tim Desmond, MFTI 51287 :: Supervised by Bruce Ecker, MFC 21355
copyright © 2007 Tim Desmond, MA. Last updated 31March2007.