The stress from a workaholic lifestyle can lead to irritability and affect your family. This page is designed to help you discover the emotional truth of your workaholism. Each person is unique, and so will be the key that will open their way to change.
You may find that one or two of these exercises may not be a great fit for you, but it is important that you try each of them. Read some of the case examples on this site to see how people are often very surprised by what they find when they let themselves do these exercises fully. You may discover some uncomfortable truths about yourself in doing these exercises. Try to be nice to yourself, and schedule a session if you want some help or support. If you become overwhelmed at any point, just stop and rest.
Some of these exercises ask you to complete a sentence. Please read the sentence-stem either aloud or silently and then let the sentence finish itself without trying to pre-think an ending. Feel free to change the sentence-stem in order to make it feel more true. Repeat the exercise over and over until you are not getting any new endings before going on to the next one.
1. Begin by imagining the important people in your life (including your family) and get a clear picture of them. Now imagine saying to them, “If I give up working so much, I’m afraid that…” and let the sentence finish itself.
Keep doing this until you are getting no new endings.
When you are finished, write down some of the sentences that felt strongest.
2. Now continue to be there with those people and try saying to them,”I need to work as much as I do because…” and let the sentence finish itself.
Keep doing this until you are getting no new endings.
When you are finished, write down some of the sentences that felt strongest.
3. Next become very clear about what it would look like for you to be working at the level you want to be. Get a good picture before moving on. Write down what you learn.
4. Now imagine being there in that reality. You are working at the level you want to be, and see it very clearly. Spend a moment allowing it to feel very real. Notice if there is anything that feels unwelcome about this reality.
Spend some time with this experience before moving on.
Write down what you learn.
5. Still imagining yourself working considerably less than you do now, try saying, “I refuse to work less because…” and let the sentence finish itself.
Keep doing this until you are getting no new endings.
When you are finished, write down some of the sentences that felt strongest.
6. Now imagine a recent situation in which you were working compulsively and felt powerless to stop. Once you are there, name how you feel in your body. Try saying, “I cannot let myself stop working right now because…” and let the sentence finish itself.
Keep doing this until you are getting no new endings.
When you are finished, write down some of the sentences that felt strongest.
7. Stay in that scene of working compulsively, and try saying “Right now I am afraid that…” and let the sentence finish itself without pre-thinking an ending. You can change the sentence-stem to make it fit for you. Keep trying this sentence completion a few more times. Write down anything that felt particularly strong.
By this point, many people will feel like they have found a part of themselves that they did not know existed. You may have discovered that your workaholism actually serves an important purpose for you. It is important not to turn this part of yourself into an enemy, but rather make peace with it and let it become a friend. You can do this by not trying to change it, but instead just accepting it and letting it be true. You should also spend some time each day reading over what you have learned about your anger. Many people will feel a strong need to have someone with whom to share this new truth. You can tell a trusted friend, a support group or schedule a session with a therapist.
